Rihanna interview | VivirLatino.

mai’a

you know.  i get this.  i really do.  i remember that realization.  that i had to step out of the situation and look at it from a third person persepective.  doing so.  saved my life.

that is part of what abuse does.  the person who is abused can lose persepective, because having perspective (seeing your life from a variety of angles and pov’s)  is dangerous to her survival.  plus a lot of time a person can be just too exhausted by the abuse itself to be able to find the energy for that sort of self reflection.  or have the energy to act on what one sees or knows to be true.

when i finally got out.  and yes i loved him after i left him.  i had what i called ‘my sane voice’.  in other words, i would ask myself: mai’a, what would a sane person do right now?  and then i would do it.  (i realize there is a lot of able-ism in that question, but like i said before, i am crazy, and the fact that i had a ’sane voice’ in my head along with all the other voices should probably give some context for the question…)

ironically, the things that the sane voice said or did…to the outside world may have looked crazier than me being in committed relationship with my best friend and partner in crime. like getting rid of all my stuff.  and going to palestine.  and falling love again and saying yes to the world.  but, it was the sanest thing i had done in years.

i guess what i am saying is that part of what compelled me to get away.  was that i was a local celebrity poet underground venue running chica…and it did matter to me that there were teenage girls in our town who looked up to me.  and it did help for me to think about my life from their perspective.

i dont know.  i guess watching this.  she just came across as emotionally and psychologically authentic.

and i just wanted to stop and say… get conscious by any means necessary.