hmm…i am wondering if this post is going to make sense. probably not. going to write it anyway.
i think i am finished with women of color organizing.
or better said i think women of color organizing is finished with me.
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here is the thing. i live in cairo, egypt. as many of you know.
and there are a lot of things i could say about living here. but the one i want to focus on is that being a blogger/activist that speaks against the actions of the egyptian government can put you in jail. hell, even me writing that last sentence would be cause enough.
media support is pretty important to me because of the repurcussions of the egyptian government.
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since media support is so important to my survival. yep. its a life and death issue for me. a will they just arrest me? or will they arrest me and beat me and then deport me? or something worse…? and what does this mean for my daughter? or family? can we suvive this?
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see. for me this is not an abstract issue. nor is it about broad general theoretical connections among various global populations.
it is about. who can i depend on to consider my life and my daughters life important enough to spread the word in case something happens to me.
because i have seen through out my trans national work a few things hold true:
1. if you arent white and shit goes down. you will probably receive about 10 times less press. than a white person would. i dont have the actual numbers on this. just what ive seen.
2. the amount of press you receive makes a difference as to how the authorities treat you.
3. part of the healing, a major part actually, is knowing that people gave a fuck. about what was happening to you. part of the community’s role is to help heal trama.
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i am realizing that a lot of my investment in community building. was that community could/would not only function as a means to healing both individual as well as collective trama. but also that community would act as a support for folks who were in danger or had just come from danger by any means possible/necessary.
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so considering all this you can probably see why i was invested in woc community building.
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when i hear woc org’s tell me that they cannot afford in terms of time, money, energy, etc. to do trans national organizing. even when i explain to them that my survival in part requires media support. and that as a woc. i have very little access to that support. i have no idea what to do.
do i explain that i really cannot invest more time and energy into folks who see my life, my survival as an ‘issue’. as a part of some abstract notions of justice and internationalism and whatever else…
do i explain that i resent, yes, get angry, when i am a member of a group that refers to itself as family and community expects me to justify why paying attention to the conditions under which i work and live. is. what. family. community. does.
do i explain that in my humble view, supporting mothers in a given organization, or women of color, or working class, or whatever populations, and i am in that org. (that i wouldnt need to ask for this if i wasnt a woc or working class or a mother…that the reason i am so vulnerable is b/c little poor black girls dont travel.and poor black mamas definitely dont travel unless they are illegal immigrants…which is how i got locked up in israel because they thought i was an illegal immigrant come to work under the table and steal jobs from…ok…) anyways. my survival as a woc, mama, working class genius is at stake. ———————————————————————————————— or do i wait and see if there is a chance. that folks will stop seeing my articulation of my life as a series of ‘issues’ . that my survival is relevant to their work. that i am worthy? too? ———————————————————————————————— right now i am at the wait and see point. not sure if im done with woc organizing. but it might be done with me. ——————————————————————————- i have made a commitment that whoever, i dont care how the fuck you identify who is willing to do media support for us in case we are a part of the next blogger crackdown, or we end up in israeli prison again…i am down with you. and in return you tell me what you need. and if i can do it. you got it.
though i’m not a woman, please email me if there’s anything specific i can do to help you at any time, hermana. or details on how to react should you need help in a dire sweep up or lock down or anything.
I will commit right here to doing what I can in terms of media support for you.
@nezua and little light
thank you.
Please feel free to write to me and let me know how Feminist Advisory Board for Obama can help out…sending you love and courage and also support to take good care of yourself…
First words that came to mind after reading your story is STAY STRONG! Second thought was share some supporting quotes, see end of comments. Third thought was have you tried to contact independent media sources? Check out Current TV, which lets viewers submit viewer created content. There is also PBS, I am currently a fan of NOW on PBS which has a Latina anchor. Also there is GritTV with Laura Flanders. These sources may be more open to sharing your cause and your work.
I would be happy to forward along a summary of your work or favorite/link to any video you have of your project.
Best of luck!
Here are some quotes that may help:
“Restlessness is discontent, and discontent is the first necessity of progress.” Edison
“When a goal becomes deeply rooted in your soul, it provides the nourishment ot go the distance.” Unknown
“Whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:24
“Only those who have aims and ambitions for the benefit, not of the individual but of humankind as a whole can perservere to the end.” Ding Ling 1942
madama, i will def get in touch with you.
dnmp, thanks for the advise and the quotes…
maia, I have your back in whatever way I can help.
maia, i’m sorry it took a minute to get to this post–I’ve been suffering through some shit offline, so I’ve not been in blog reading mode at all. but I want you to know, I am with you.
Yes, done, absolutely, do you need my e-mail or does it show up for you?
d’you want this post linked on Shakesville maybe?
delurking just to say, if you issue a call for support or help or mediamaking, I will do whatever is in my power.
@chops
thank you!
thanks quix. please feel free to link this post. your email does show up…
@bfp
kisses…and thx for everything…!
I will support you however you need, if ever you need it.
I’m not really sure what I can do, but if there is anything, I want to help. Hope you don’t mind it from a first-time commenter
Here from Shakesville and ready with support- anytime, any way, any how that you need.
I don’t really understand this post entirely in terms of what support would be helpful (sorry!) but it touched me (read it at BFP’s)…so please let me know, too, if there’s anything you need–I’d like to offer it.
I hope your fears are unfounded. My voice is a small one - I’m the sort of person who writes protest letters to presidents offices and embassies - but I’ll use it for you if you need me to.